Run your own race

In June everybody’s attention was once again drawn to, what certainly must be one of South Africa’s most famous long-distance races, the Comrades Marathon. Thousands of athletes participate in this event every year. Have you ever noticed that none of them does it the exact same way? Each one has his/her own style of running and approach to the race.

They literally all run their own race within the rules set out to them by the organizers. In life, this should be the same. We all have certain rules that we have to obey and certain parameters to live in, but we all have to take this race on as individuals. Trying to copy someone else’s style will only hamper your progress.

I think to run your own race means that you know and accept who you are and that you strive to accomplish your own dreams, goals and visions and not that of somebody else.

Know your temperament. If you know your temperament you will be able to identify your strong- and weak points, which will give you the opportunity to build on your strong points and work on the weaker ones. If you don’t know which temperament you are, I strongly encourage you to take the Temperaments & Personality Assessment

Many people feel so pressured by the expectations of others that it causes them to be frustrated, miserable and confused about what they should do. There will always be people who try to squeeze you into their moulds and pressure you into being who they want you to be. They most likely mean well and are good people, but they did not breathe life into you, equip you or empower you. God did.

You have to accept the fact that you cannot keep everyone happy and you cannot expect everyone to be like you. Just as people have different preferences for fashion or food, so they have different preferences for people.

You will never win over every critic. If people do not understand you, it is okay. No matter how much you try to make people like you, some people will always find fault with you. Remember, you were not called to keep everyone happy. You are not responsible for the happiness of others. You are, however, responsible for your own happiness. If people are controlling you – it is not their fault – it is your fault. Stand up for yourself. Follow your own desires and be the person you were born to be and not the person other people are forcing you to be.

Sometimes, we put ourselves under pressure by trying to keep up with other people’s races instead of focusing on our own. You cannot move forward in life if you are forever trying to achieve what your siblings achieve or trying to have what your neighbours have.

Facebook and other social media platforms have added to the “keeping up with the Joneses attitude” that have plagued so many people for so long. If you open up Facebook and see that your cousin is driving a new car, or that some of your friends are on an overseas holiday yet again, you might start to feel jealous and inferior to them.

You feel like you have to step up on everything from your work to your parenting skills just to keep up with everybody. You feel like you are getting more and more behind. Why, oh why, is your life such a mess, while your old school friend’s life looks like a continuous party with a perfect husband, career and children?

Guess what? Somebody out there is looking at your life and they are thinking the exact same thing! We all put our best foot forward on social media. We all try to impress the world by showing only the bright side. But, everyone’s life has ups and downs. Nobody is perfect. Stop, comparing yourself to others. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy your life as it is.

Some things in life are just out of your control. Like the weather, the country’s economy, whether your favourite sports team is going to win or lose on the field… We have to learn to accept the things we cannot change. Stop worrying about everything. Stop complaining about things beyond your control. It doesn’t matter how many times you look up at the sky, if it is raining, it is raining. Accept it and move on.

The same when things didn’t work out the way you wanted it to. Maybe you are already over 40 and you are not where you hoped you would be when you were 20. Your marriage didn’t work out. You didn’t become the top notch in your career. You can dwell on all these negative things for hours at a time, but no amount of “what ifs” and “should haves” will change the facts.

If you keep on focusing on the past, you will not be able to enjoy where you are. You cannot continue moving forward while trying to run the race backwards. Let go of what happened in the past, as well as all the “what should have happened” thoughts. Set yourself free by learning to appreciate what you have now.

If you are stuck in a comfort zone that doesn’t feel that comfortable anymore or if you don’t like what you have become, then you can always change that. While you cannot change things like the weather or the rise in the petrol price, you can change your thought patterns, habits and outlook on life. If you don’t like the way you look, change your appearance. If you don’t like where you work, put some effort into your CV and start to actively work on getting a new job. If you want to go on an overseas holiday, rework your budget and start saving.

Being miserable is a habit; being happy is a habit, and the choice is yours. You need to start identifying what your thoughts, views or perceptions are towards the events that add stress in your life. Once you’ve identified these thoughts, you need to grab those thoughts and then change them. Life is too short to waste your energy on worrying about what other people think and to focusing on the negative.

Remember, it is not your circumstances that make you negative; it is your attitude about those circumstances. Take 20 positive people and 20 negative people and give them the same problem at the same house and you will get very different outcomes. Do not wait for everything to change before you have a good attitude. If you have a good attitude now, God can change the situation. You do what you can do, and God will do what you cannot do.