Why are you unhappy?

It’s scary how many people nowadays are unhappy with themselves, their work, children, partners, family and actually just life in general. They feel like they would be happier if only they could win the lotto and pay off all their debts. If only they could find a new job. If only their children would start doing their homework. If only their partner would help instead of complaining so much. If only their family would stop interfering. If only…

Let’s imagine I am one of those Fairy Godmothers we always read about in the Fairy Tales. I can make all your wishes come true with a few chosen magical words, for how long would you be happy before you start complaining again?

I guess you would be perfectly happy for a moment in time. Overjoyed to suddenly have no debt and to be able to do all the things you have been dreaming about for so long. And then… you would probably start to worry, stress and complain again. Why?

Because we are never satisfied with what we have. We always want more and better in search of that perfect life, perfect partner, perfect children, perfect marriage, perfect job… And that’s the problem. There is no such thing as a perfect life. Not in this world. Life is not perfect. Why then are you striving for the impossible?

There is nothing wrong with dreaming big. Nothing wrong to work towards bettering yourself and your life but stop trying to want things to be perfect! It only leads to frustration and disappointment. You also have to realise what is perfect for you, might not be perfect for somebody else. You might think a holiday doing nothing more than reading and lounging next to a swimming pool is the ideal, but your partner thinks that is extremely boring and rather see an ideal vacation as one filled with river rafting, rock climbing and parachute jumping.

For you to be happy, you must fully comprehend the following statement. To be happy, you must decide to be happy. What? Yes, it is as easy and as difficult as that. One decision. One thought. “I am happy.”

Wait a minute… What about the fact that I can’t go on holiday this year because the petrol price is too high? What about the fact that I hate my job? What about my dreadful circumstances?

Well now, if you keep on focussing on all these negatives, I guess you would struggle with the easy answer to the difficult question.
Let’s look at the petrol price. Yes, it’s a bummer. Really bad for the budget. What can we do about it? The actual price? Nothing. It’s out of our hands. We can, however, see where we can safe petrol. What about starting a drive club to work? You know you and your colleague always arrive at the same time at the office, you even wave to each other at the same intersection each morning. Could be fun not to be stuck in a traffic jam all alone every day.

And that holiday you are yearning for…You sure you can’t have some fun nearer to home? You sure you have explored all the sites, museums and activities in your area already? When was the last time you have actually visited your best friend living in the same city as you? When last did you visit your favourite uncle, aunt, cousins… you know those that live not that far away? Oh, at the last family funeral. Yes, I guess you are in need of a holiday far away. What about starting to safe now to take a holiday away next year?

Let’s not forget your dreadful circumstances. Who could be happy while having a job, having electricity and running water, having a car (although low on petrol), having a TV, a radio, a cell phone, children, a partner, people to talk to, your health, the ability to smell, taste, touch, feel…? If only you had something to be grateful for. If only there was a blue sky, sunshine, flowers, trees and the wonders of nature outside to appreciate. If only you had friends, you could talk to and family members you could fight with and make up with and fight again with…

Then, maybe, you could have acknowledged the fact that you are responsible for your own happiness. That circumstances have nothing to do with happiness. I know of very rich people who are extremely unhappy and of poor people who are always smiling. I also know wealthy people who are always happy and poor people who are always complaining.

If you want to be happy, be happy. It all starts with a thought, which lead to an attitude adjustment and a new perspective on life. Just be careful, the “I am happy” thought can be a life-changing experience. You might end up joyful, grateful and satisfied!