It has been proven that the feelings triggered by rejection, triggers the very same areas of the brain affected by severe pain.
No wonder that a corporate rejection, ranging from dismissal to the painful NO in response to a job application, gives you a tummy ache and sleepless nights.
Scientists have also discovered that the reliving of a rejection experience, causes people to operate at a much lower IQ level than their normal capacity.
I found behavioural scientist Jay Shetty’s six steps to recovery after rejection, valuable.
Step 1: Don’t take it personally.
It is a fact that 98% of online applications fail. These are mostly answered with a computer-generated reply that you were not the ‘perfect fit’ for the job or some other insincere answer, shared by 98% of applicants. Imagine allowing a computer to define your worth!
Step 2: Use rejection as feedback.
Don’t take it personally but do take it curiously, utilising the content of the rejection as part of your research on your path of improvement.
Brian Acton and Jan Koum, former employees of Yahoo, were rejected by both Facebook and Twitter when they applied for jobs in 2007. Acton had the courage to tweet about this positively. The two co-founded a new social platform in 2009 which they sold to Facebook at 19 billion dollars – Whatsapp. Shows you what a good incentive a NO could be!
Step 3: Do not let rejection stop you from knocking on doors.
For every 100 doors you knock on, one or two might open; for every 200, three or four. Ask yourself if you have truly knocked on every single door available to you. If rejection stops you from knocking, it will also stop you from possible success. Thomas Edison said that when you believe you have exhausted all the options, remember you haven’t.
Step 4: See rejection as redirection
See rejection as redirection and do not suffer from “path addiction”. You will get to your goal but it might not happen along the path that you have imagined. Be open to new paths, obstacles and new rejections along the way.
Step 5: Remember that revenge should never be a response to rejection.
You are not trying to prove anything to anyone and falling into the trap of venting your resentment, will close doors for you in the future. Never let your failures or your successes determine or control your life.
Step 6: As hard as it may sound, rejection is always right.
Ask yourself if your deeper passion is strong enough to make you want to move forward. If you have a dream, remember that you will have to prove your worth before people will start listening. Share your passion and be willing to work hard – don’t wait for someone to validate you!
And if you are rejected because you were not the ‘perfect fit’, ask yourself if you would ever have been happy in such a company.
