I am a declared optimist. Negative people give me the jitters and I cannot get out of their company fast enough. But I am also a realist. I have made peace with the fact that life is not fair and I do not engage in endless conversations about potholes, corruption, or other irritations that affect all of us but are totally beyond my control.

I have learned that the sooner I accept the fact that life is not fair and that we are dealt different hands of cards, the better for my well-being and peace of mind. The advantage of this attitude is that it prevents me from wallowing in self-pity. I remember my dear mother’s warning: “There is nothing wrong with being sad when life throws you a curve-ball, but it is never justified to feel sorry for yourself.”

It is only human to succumb to the temptation of self-pity from time to time. Particularly on days when things just seem to go wrong in multiples that you cannot control. This mostly happens at times when you are over-tired and over-burdened with not enough hours in the day. 

My way of dealing with challenges on days like these is to remind myself that “this too shall pass.” I try to avoid thinking about the injustices in the world, to breathe deeply, listen to soothing music, and take time out in my back garden, where I can gather myself. (Depending on the time of day, a mug of good coffee or a glass of whisky could help with the soothing…)

This is when surrendering to the fact that life isn’t fair, can be liberating. Accepting the fact that we are all dealt different hands, helps me to find compassion with myself and others. At this point, I can deal with the unfairness of life and formulate my action steps in the right direction.

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