Empathy has been identified as an essential component in building meaningful and trusting relationships. It is a vital ingredient of successful marriages but also of effective organisations. Contrary to easy prediction, researchers found that successful leaders have high levels of empathy.
This crucial human asset, not to be confused with sympathy, is driven by the need to know that we are not alone. We need to know that we are accepted and worthy and that others have experienced similar feelings.
Empathy is related to both academic and professional success, reduces aggression and prejudice, and increases altruism and general well-being. Receiving empathy, helps us become resilient.
But it is by no means a common commodity amongst people, simply because it requires commitment and hard work to adopt empathy as a way of living and communicating with people.
Learning or practising empathy requires a mindset that involves four altruistic approaches:
- Try to assess the situation from the other person’s perspective, instead of your own. See it through the lens or the eyes of the other person.
- Do not judge the other person’s actions. Behavioural scientists maintain that we judge others because we need to validate our abilities, values, or beliefs. Comparing our actions to that of other people, allows us to see ourselves as better or at least acceptable.
- Know the other person’s state of mind and heart. To understand other people’s feelings, one first has to have a clear understanding of your own emotions. This is a common shortcoming because we do not grow up with a proper vocabulary of emotions – knowing when to identify your fear, uncertainty, anxiety, or basic embarrassment. Instead, we easily file all emotions under “frustrations”.
- Empathy reflects the degree to which you can communicate your understanding of the other person’s emotions. Your ability to express his or her emotions in words will determine if he or she will hear or appreciate your kindness.
You cannot fake this powerful emotion. Be willing to show your vulnerability and reach out with sincere empathy – and you will be rewarded with meaningful relationships.
