Sir Isaac Newton’s famous words – To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction – is not only true in the world of science. It applies equally to people and everyday life. Every act or action (by a person) has an equal and opposite reaction – or response – by another person. However, human beings can choose to react or respond to the action.
At first sight, one might see these two words as synonyms. But, although quite close, they are very different. And in this difference, lies an important lesson for all of us.
Let us look at the differences between these two actions:
One definition of REACTION calls it “a reverse movement or an action in a reverse direction or manner. Reactions are done on impulse, without putting much thought into it or considering what the result could be.” Reactions are mostly triggered by your emotional fight-or-flight brain, causing irrational behaviour with potentially dangerous results.
RESPONSE is more thoughtful and done with reasoning. When you Respond, you choose not to be ruled by your emotions but rather by your reason, considering long-term results before you reply or react.
Let’s look at an example: Your child breaks something. You immediately react by getting angry, perhaps yelling, upsetting the child, and yourself, worsening your relationship, not making anything better.
Let’s see what happens when you choose to Respond: Your child breaks something. You notice your anger reaction, but pause, take a breath and consider the situation. You allow your initial emotional reaction to pass, show your disappointment, and ask your child to help you pick up the pieces, without losing your temper. Later, you might call your child and explain why you were upset and even discuss how the accident could have been prevented, but you respond without blaming.
There is a saying that it is not stress that kills us, but our reaction to it. Choosing to respond and not to react, saves relationships, reputations, and even lives.
