Do you feel like you are in a rut or that your life is just a bit dull and monotonous? Are you longing for a breath of fresh air to sweep the cobwebs from the corners of your mind?
First, take a (real) deep breath and relax. There is nothing wrong with you. We all experience times when we wonder: “Is this it? Is this dull, monotonous, colourless routine what I have been working so hard for?”
Or after a difficult period in your life you might ask: “Why is everything still the same old, same old? Did I overcome my illness/retrenchment/financial loss/divorce/bereavement for this?”
Sometimes when you transition into a new phase with loads of happy anticipation it also turns out that you feel less excitement and less happiness than you thought you would. And of course you then think something is wrong with you.
How to make your life feel less empty and boring
Check that you aren’t depressed or burnt out. Not all cases of depression or burnout present with feelings of sadness or hopelessness. A general lack of interest and the inability to experience pleasure or enjoyment in various areas of one’s life is called “anhedonia”.
This is a common symptom of mental health conditions, so please speak to your doctor if you think you may be suffering from it. Times are very tough, stressful and demanding – you have nothing to be ashamed about and deserve treatment and help.
If you are comfortable that you are not in need of treatment but just want to get a bit more va-va-voom in your daily routine, you first need to check your temperament. Do you know yourself and whether you are Yappy Yellow, Raving Red, Groovy Green or Brilliant Blue?
Different temperaments have different needs in terms of excitement and how much effort they are willing to put into more “oomph” in their days. If you understand and accept this, you can be less critical of yourself and others.
Here are just a few practical suggestions for each temperament. Have fun expanding the lists with your own discoveries.
Tips for more va-va-voom for Yappy Yellow
- Of all the temperaments you have the most need for fun and pleasurable surprises. This is fine, but life, unfortunately, is not one long beach party. You will have to accept that sometimes you will have to grit your teeth and just do the things that suck the joy from your heart.
- Of course you need contingency plans to feed your soul its daily dose of necessary pleasure and excitement. Arrange get-togethers to your heart’s content and ensure that you can see these dates on your phone or fridge. Remind yourself of what is to come.
- Change your perspective on some of your daily routines and implement different, fun elements. If, for example, you read a daily devotion every morning, don’t think of this as one more thing on your to-do list. See it as a date with Jesus. Perhaps you could drink a luxurious beverage or eat your favourite fruit whilst reading and praying to incorporate more pleasure for your senses.
Tips for more va-va-voom for Raging Red
- Of all the temperaments you have the least need for fun and pleasure. You quite possibly consider such activities a waste of valuable time that should rather be spent on work. This is fine, but you were created to live with a rhythm of effort followed by rest. You will have to accept that sometimes you will have to grit your teeth and just do something that is relaxing and fun – especially if it makes your friends and family happy.
- Of course you are allowed to find your joy in the success of your hard work and effort too. Just be very careful to not equate your happiness with your achievements and status. Change your intentions to find your true joy in God and His grace in your life.
- Change your perspective on some of your daily routines to make them more sociable and allow people to do these things differently; just focus on your being together. Also, find ways of connecting with people that do not include work or chores. Join a sport club or group, for example, where you can be active and competitive, but also socially engage with others.
Tips for more va-va-voom for Groovy Green
- Of all the temperaments you have the most fun while on your own. This is fine, but because you also care for people, especially your family, you will have to accept that sometimes you will have to grit your teeth and just do some activities with other people. They will love having you with them because you bring calmness, diplomacy and humor to the party.
- Of course you need your alone time too to practice good self-care. You really need to focus on healthy and nutritious food, enough water, exercise and movement, and plenty of sleep. You can easily become depressed and lethargic if your lifestyle is not conducive to a healthy spirit and body.
- Change your perspective on being an introvert and allow yourself to enjoy the quiet pleasures of life with your small group of friends and family. There is no competition in who gets to enjoy life the most. Social media makes it look like the only definition of a fulfilled life is one with tonnes of people, a lot of glamour and constant activity, but that is an illusion. Do not compare your revival with that of others!
Tips for more va-va-voom for Brilliant Blue
- Of all the temperaments you are the most serious. Even though you may allow yourself some fun, you will probably feel guilty if it isn’t educational or improving your quality of life. This is fine, but seriously, you need to lighten up! You will have to accept that sometimes you will have to grit your teeth and just do something frivolous and funny.
- Of course you can find your joy in museums and poems for your daily dose of creativity. But you will also have to force yourself out of your seclusion and spend time with more gregarious people. Accept invitations to events that you find uncomfortable and let your hair down. Convince yourself that balance is a good thing and overcome your fears by experiencing how comfortable other people are with not being perfect.
- Add new elements to some of your daily routines to make them less harsh and abrasive on your sensitive soul. For example, do not listen to the news when driving, but to uplifting music. Explore the topic of meditation and implement some of these practices in your prayer routine. It will calm your mind and prevent you from over-thinking and being too critical on yourself.
