When stress hits home – to whatever degree – you know the symptoms. Whether it manifests as an uneasy stomach-ache or a dull headache, when it rears its head, you know that something is out of balance.
It is normally triggered by a thought, followed by an extended family of thoughts and emotions, that all add to a total onslaught on your peace of mind.
You can’t heal what you can’t feel, the gurus say. Digesting emotion is like digesting food – you have to chew on it, swallow it. Just as with breaking down food, there is a natural metabolising process to digest our emotions. But we can’t do that when we are stressed. Our emotions are in our bodies. To digest them, you have to be in your body. Be embodied. Calming means reconnecting with your body.
But here comes the trick: We have all learned ways not to connect with our body. To take our attention off what is happening, we engage in a series of actions:
- We avoid the issue by distracting ourselves. This we do by watching television or by staying busy.
- We try to numb our senses with food, alcohol, pills, sex, or even positive activity like exercise – anything that would help us not to feel.
- We try to analyse our emotions rather than feel them. But, the feeling of safety that we need, exists in your body, not in your mind. You cannot think your way to a feeling of safety.
- We blame others for our feelings, telling ourselves: “I feel this because he or she did that…”
- We become engrossed in other people’s feelings as if they were our own.
- We experience our emotions as physical symptoms. The muscle pain, headache, or extreme fatigue could be a screen for our anxiety or fear. Ultimately our emotions have to go somewhere.
When we understand this dynamic, we could find strategies to calm down our nervous system. It is a skill we could all do with – to connect with our bodies by acknowledging our feelings. Once you feel it, yes, that’s right, you can heal it…
