What is the key ingredients to any kind of success?

It seems like people think there is some instant recipe for success, a secret password perhaps, that they can use to have it all overnight. I am afraid I have some bad news for you, when it comes to success and fulfillment there is nothing instant about it.

To reach your goals and to live your dream takes constant hard work, sacrifice and change. What works today, might not work tomorrow. Successful people know how to adapt, and they are continuously on a path of self-improvement.

We must constantly take steps to improve. We can never be perfect, but we can try everyday to improve. Breaking old habits and creating new habits is hard work, that’s why so many struggle to do this, but if you push through, it will be worth it.

People need to realise that mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating. If you are not willing to learn from your mistakes you will never grow. If you keep blaming someone or something else for your mistakes, you will never learn why problems come your way. The same problem will repeat in your life in different ways until you take the responsibility to change and improve.

A common reason for people persistently putting themselves down is that they hope to become better by calling attention to their mistakes, flaws and failings. Trying to solve an emotional problem while calling yourself useless and worthless is much like trying to learn a foreign language while hitting yourself over the head with a textbook – your actions are likely to make both jobs much harder. You need to accept yourself as an imperfect human being, while at the same time taking constant steps for self-improvement.

Accepting yourself has two interesting implications for overcoming emotional problems and personal development. Firstly, you’re equal in worth to other human beings just as you are, and you have been called to a life of greatness, not mediocrity. Secondly, because you’re not distracted by beating yourself up, you can focus better on coping with adversity, and self-improvement.

Being motivated to change and improving yourself is a vital element for change. Luckily, you don’t necessarily have to feel motivated about changing before you can take steps forward.

Motivation often follows rather than precedes positive action – often people find that they ‘get into’ something once they’ve started.

I strongly advice getting a role-model you can learn from and a life-coach who can keep you on track with your journey. Your role-model can be a senior colleague, a friend with more life experience or even a famous person you admire. Your life-coach can be a professional you appoint to help you, but it can also be a trusted friend, a person with more experience than you who you can trust to guide you on your way to success.

Make time to read successful people’s biographies, attend self-improvement and motivational workshops (there are plenty online if you can’t attend in real life). Read as many articles as you can from trusted sources. Knowledge is power after all.

Human beings have a keen way of blocking their progress and sabotaging their goals. Maybe you obstruct your progress without even being aware that you’re doing it. Or perhaps you’re conscious that you’re sabotaging yourself with faulty thinking.

Don’t fall into the trap of deciding that your problems are so special and unusual that they can’t be overcome. Sometimes, people can be quite defensive about their emotional problems because they believe that they’re a part of what makes them unique. You’ll still be a unique person when you’ve overcome your problems – you’ll just be happier.

One of the biggest blocks preventing you from getting better is refusing to believe that change is possible. Be on the lookout for negative predictions that you may be making about your ability to get better. Challenge any thought you have that sounds like: “I’ll never change – I’ve been like this for too long.” STOP THOSE THOUGHTS!

Would you encourage a friend to believe such thoughts? Try to give yourself the kind of good advice that you’d give another person with your type of problem. Look for evidence that you can make changes. Remind yourself of other things you’ve done in the past that were difficult and required lots of efforts to overcome.

Many people who work at changing their attitudes and beliefs might feel that it’s easier said than done. When you begin to adopt a new way of thinking, you may know that something makes sense, but you may not feel that the new belief is true.
When you do experience this head-to-heart problem, I recommend acting as if you really do hold the new belief to be true. Fake it, till you make it!

Just remember, that even the most successful people never stop practising and never halt their quest for self-improvement. Pablo Casals, one of the greatest Cellists ever said at age 85 “ I think I am getting better ”.

Whatever you do, never give up. You can be a winner too!